Today we salute Thomas Kinkade, painter of…actually, I don’t know if he even paints anymore, or just keeps lots of factories busy churning out nativity nausea-bait.

This one spins when you pull the tassel. I hope the wisemen enjoy their ride on the Tilt-O-Jesus.

This tree skirt has embedded fiber optic lights, so the stars twinkle.

And there’s a matching fiber optic wreath! We live in a golden age.