As I coast around the interwebs looking for these things, I have to admit to a bit of relief that some searches come up empty. Not finding viable entries for categories such as nativity bongs, patriotic nativities, nativity-on-a-stick, and cheese nativity is oddly heartwarming. Also grateful that googling ‘leather nativity’ only brings up this one. I’m a bit surprised it isn’t a band name, actually.

There are worse places to have a baby than in a stable. There is, for example, the base of a giant cuckoo clock.

“whew, he finally went to sleep, maybe I can grab a few minutes of shut-eye now…”
CUCKOO CUCKOOO
waaaaaaaah!!

A land, I might add, of oddly-proportioned creatures.

My favorite thing about this one is how much Joseph looks like the statue outside the old Big Boy. It used to end up on the roof of the high school every year around homecoming.

Actually, that’s a lie. My favorite thing is that it makes me want to say “we must get moose and seal” in a Boris and Natasha voice. Because there’s a moose…and…oh, never mind.

Tragically, the holy parents were neatly bisected by the edges of the clumsy angel’s wings.

Nativity Cocoa: it’s bethlehem-tastic!

* decades-old coffee commercials: your deep well of humorous references

Today we salute Thomas Kinkade, painter of…actually, I don’t know if he even paints anymore, or just keeps lots of factories busy churning out nativity nausea-bait.

This one spins when you pull the tassel. I hope the wisemen enjoy their ride on the Tilt-O-Jesus.

This tree skirt has embedded fiber optic lights, so the stars twinkle.

And there’s a matching fiber optic wreath! We live in a golden age.

Two examples of the nativity scene with giant angel motif.

“Not like I was using my legs or anything…”

You know what this needs? Fiber optics. And moving wings. Yes.

Yeah, I know, I used that joke in 1.0. I only have one joke, ok?