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Saturday, August 30, 2003
Things I am digging entirely too much: - Swiffer. I am coming late to the Cult of Swiffer, but, man, does this thing ever rock. I've just excavated the most shocking amount of cat fur from under Dennis' bed, along with my green Doc boots, which I had forgotten I owned and therefore missed when I was packing my stuff during The Unpleasantness. When it's finally time to retire the Ecco sandals I've been wearing all summer (Ecco: because just about everything else makes my feet cranky™) it will be the time of the green boots again.
- Getting boxes of pirate party stuff from Rhode Island Novelty and Oriental Trading. Yar, matey, I am ready for BootyFest, which be coming up in a few weeks. I think the inflatable monkeys from Oriental are my favorite, although I'm also liking the metal pirate yo-yos from RIN. Prepare to be boarded!
- This pirate ship cake. I may attempt to make it for the party. I wish Leigh the mad scientist baker could be here. Her pirate ship cake would probably involve gun powder and cannons that actually shoot. I miss Leigh. Sigh. (yes, I know this all gets confusing with all of us having weird pseudonyms on our various sites)
- The Nouwen book I'm reading, which is amazing.
- Gearing up for fall sewing, consisting of at least three Halloween costumes for my three nieces, and a couple of other projects, including a Christening dress for my friend's baby (did I ever mention the chili pepper bunting I made as a shower present?). So far, all I know is that MacKenzie, 8, wants to be a pink genie, and Sarah, 13, wants to be a go-go dancer. I found a fabulous iridescent blue/green sheer knit with silver swirls all over it for her costume the last time I hit the fabric department at the Jessica McClintock outlet. Butterick has an Austin Powers-ish pattern which I think will work nicely and isn't all that high on the Bimbo Scale. The youngest niece doesn't have strong feelings on the topic (at age almost-three) so it's up to her mom to decide if we're going froofy or animal or what. She was such a cute little monkey two years ago.
- Burritos and movies with Jon, Ryan, and Dennis tonight. Hence my offer to Swiff his place while he's at work, which is just getting way out of hand. Swiffer stuff is way cheap at Big Lots, if you have one near you. I got a free duster in one of the packages, and that's a fine thing, too. I've gone on a search-and-destroy mission against cobwebs. Almost as impressive as Ryan's Death to Slugs project (check What's New).
And thus today's post begins and ends with Swiffer. Not quite the alpha and the omega, but it's keeping me amused.
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Thursday, August 28, 2003
There are good things and bad things about getting one's work email at home. Here's the bad thing.
I'm trying to get dressed and out the door this morning, and I've already had two "I know you're busy but I really really need you to..." emails from parishoners. And both are totally legitimate requests, which would enhance our ministry, and neither of them is even vaguely possible given how behind I am this week.
I'm really struggling with this right now. My energy level isn't where it could be because I'm so busy beating myself up over not being able to get everything done, and I really need to get off that train so I can be more productive and plow through all this stuff. It's also just been a frustrating week, with an extra-long staff meeting on Monday (ok, that was partially my fault, but I can still resent the loss of time), and dealing with getting my car fixed, and a much-needed hair appointment yesterday (it was too late to cancel by the time I realized how ill-advised it was, and hey, no more roots) and a partial network outage which took up a bunch of time on Monday because I'm the only person who doesn't fear the computers. I'm not sure how or if I fixed it, but the network came back up after I messed with the router and it was a good thing. My Indian name this week is Messes with Routers. Of course, I lost some work when the net conked, since the document was on the file server. Yes, I know, Jesus saves, but I guess I'd been up and down from my desk so often I hadn't done it in a while. PageMaker doesn't like that. And, yeah, I suppose if PageMaker jumped off a bridge, I would too.
Whine whine whine. Screwtape must be pleased.
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I'm currently re-reading The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis. I'm also listening to the audiobook again while I'm driving because, hey, John Cleese.
I've been carrying the book around in my bag, and pulled it out on Tuesday while I was on the train to go pick up my car, which now has fabulous new brakes and a non-glowing engine light (naturally, the computer showed nothing wrong to cause the light to come on in the first place, so my mechanic just reset it). Since I've read it a couple of times already, I tend to just flip to a letter at random.
This missive from demon Screwtape to novice tempter Wormwood struck me:
You must have often wondered why the Enemy does not make more use of His power to be sensibly present to human souls in any degree He chooses and at any moment. ..Merely to override a human will (as His felt presence in any but the faintest and most mitigated degree would certainly do) would be for Him useless...He is prepared to do a little overriding at the beginning. He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation...Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs--to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best... He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.
My favorite thing about Screwtape is that it is such a slight and funny book, which will kick your ass if you let it penetrate your mind even a little bit. Here's an especially nasty bit:
When you have caused him to assume that the trough is permanent, can you not persuade him that "his religious phase" is just going to die away like all his previous phases? Of course, there is no conceivable way of getting by reason from the proposition "I am losing interest in this" to the proposition "This is false." But, as I said before, it is jargon, not reason, you must rely on. The mere word "phase" will very likely do the trick. I assume that the creature has been through several of them before--they all have--and that he always feels superior and patronising to the ones he has emerged from, not because he has really criticised them but simply because they are in the past...You see the idea? Keep his mind off the plain antithesis between True and False. Nice shadowy expressions--"It was a phase"--"I've been through all that"--don't forget the blessed word "Adolescent."
Ouch. Um, I think I see something shiny over there. Must go investigate. Cannot continue conversation, as you are clearly not describing any thought process I've ever had. Nope. We have nothing to talk about.
I picked up Henri Nouwen's The Return of the Prodigal Son this evening and am looking forward to reading it. Been feeling a bit prodigal lately.
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Monday, August 25, 2003
Figures as soon as I decide this is my ministry, I get writers block. Many false starts over the past couple of days.
There's some fabulous stuff happening in my life right now that I'm going to hold close for a little longer, but know that there's a happy glowing thing and the world looks like a pretty wonderful place from where I'm standing. I just don't have the right words yet. When they show up, this will be the first blog I tell, promise.
Nice to have some joy back. I miss it when it goes away, but at least now I've finally figured out that it will always come back. And it only took 33 years to learn that, so imagine how smart I'll be when I'm in my 60s. I'll just be a giant pulsating brain in a jar, yesirree.
There's a Godly Play thing where, instead of extinguishing the Christ candle, the light is changed. The light that is one place is changed so that it can be in all places. The light of Christ changes into smoke and then becomes invisible, but stays with us. The Godly Play trainer said that it's a bit of a burden for some families, because their children fight over who gets to change the light of every lit candle, but the kids always remember the explanation and say it to each other, which is so cool. I am really jazzed about starting Godly Play in a few weeks. I'm sure it will be completely awkward and strange at first, until we get the routine established, but then it's going to be so great.
Sorry, I have that same tangent every time Godly Play comes up. I'm just really excited about it . Anyway, I love that image of the light that is invisible but still present. I'm starting to think of joy that way. I can't always see it, but there is this little spark of joy or faith or something that is with me all the time, even during those really icky times when it feels like I'm out in the desert and everything seems hopeless. It's so much less scary when I remember that it isn't going to last forever, and that I still have everything I need to be joyful again when it's time for that.
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Friday, August 22, 2003
This started off as a response to a comment on the last entry, but it grew out of control and I decided to make it an entry, if only to save the comment popup window from extreme uber-scrolling.
The comment:
"It's my job to talk about my relationship with pal Jesus, and to help people learn about how to be in relationship with Jesus."
Why is this your job? Do Episcopalians believe that if you are not a believer in Christ that you are going to Hell? If so, is it part of your duty to proselytize? For some religions that is the case.
I would be interested in your take on proselytizing in light of your comments that judging and categorizing aren't your bag.
We're not under orders to proselytize, at least not in the way the 'accept Jesus or you're going to Hell!!! To Heeeellll!!!' crowd does it. There seems to be a lot of judging and categorizing in that mindset, yes, but the big problem for me is that it really doesn't fit with the way my faith has revealed itself. I didn't get here by being afraid that I would go to Hell if I didn't accept Jesus right then and there, so I could never present that case authentically to anyone else.
It's my job to talk about my faith because it is something that I'm called to do. Last year, my score on the spiritual gifts inventory topped out on Creative Communication, which disappointed me at the time because I wanted something more, I don't know, useful, but it turns out that my most fruitful ministry lately is this blog. Huh. I thought about stopping it earlier this week when I was feeling really hopeless and loser-ish, which is why I was gone so long, and then the Australia thing happened and then I got a sandal to the back of the head telling me that this is my ministry. I don't know if I'm the one ministering or the one being ministered to, but it's what I'm supposed to be doing.
This is what I get for spending all last week praying for God to give me a push toward the right ministry. I find out that I'm already doing it. Duh. Did I mention that the sandal was signed, Captain Obvious? Thank you, Captain Obvious.
All I can do is talk honestly and openly about how God is working in my life, which means the frustrations as well as the good stuff. The most annoying thing about a lot of the 'inspirational' writing I've run across is the over-abundance of Really Super relationships with Jesus. Look, if you've been walking with Jesus for a while and you haven't faced the guy down at 3:00 a.m. and told him that you're leaving, that this is all bullshit and you can't believe you ever got involved with him, you're living a very different life than I am. My moving in faith is not all sunshine and lollipops and animals dancing around rainbows in their feety pajamas. But I keep coming back to it, because there's life there that I haven't found anywhere else.
There's more, but I am out of time for the moment. I'll pick this up again later.
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Thursday, August 21, 2003
Whoo hoo! I'm in the news in Australia again!
I got my first piece of serious hate mail as the result of this article. Some guy from Australia sent me the sort of email that goes "I am a born again Christian and blah blah blah saying Fuck all the time and blah blah blah WTFWJD and blah blah blah you're not a Christian and you don't have a relationship with Christ and blah blah blah."
Man, I wish I had that decoder ring, the one that tells you who does and does not have a relationship with Christ. Wait, no I don't. That's not even my job. It's my job to talk about my relationship with pal Jesus, and to help people learn about how to be in relationship with Jesus. What happens after that is up to the Holy Spirit. I am not the Holy Spirit. For example, I think the Holy Spirit is taller than I am, and doesn't need major brake work on his or her car, as I do. Although I do like the idea of a Holy Spirit who drives a Beetle.
I understand the urge to put someone's relationship with Jesus on a grade scale, just to see how we're all stacking up. You must be at least this pious to ride. One of the things we humans really like to do is categorize. It's fun, it's reassuring, it shows us where we are in relation to everything and everyone else. It's also dangerous if we start to imagine that we know the mind of God well enough to begin dividing the sheep from the goats ourselves.
There is a place for an honest and careful evaluation of someone's spiritual progress. However, that happens best when we're in a covenant relationship with one another. I have to know who you are before I can know where you are with Christ, and I have to trust you with the same knowledge of me. That's scary shit and I can see why it's easier to lob Scripture at someone and run, or to try to 'correct' strangers. I just don't think it does very much to further God's work.
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Saturday, August 16, 2003
We had a Godly Play meeting last night, and I told the Calendar of the Church Year story to the other teachers. It's a cool story; there's a big wooden base with a circle of wooden blocks in it, with different colors for the different parts of the year. There's also a slight-of-hand bit with gold cord and 'time in a line' which gets tied into a knot because every beginning contains an end and every end, a beginning (are we paying attention here, Sara?).
Anyway, I was almost to the end, when I was rebuilding the circle with all the blocks, and I started to realize that I was not going to have enough blocks to complete my circle. Also, I noticed that people were laughing. The "kid" next to me had stolen some of my green blocks (which represent the "great, green, growing Sundays after Pentecost - and if you think I can say that without having it come out great, green, glowing Sundays, you would be wrong - so, after Pentecost, we're all slightly radioactive) and was looking really pleased with himself. So I couldn't stop laughing and flubbed the rest of the story. I was doing pretty well up until that point, though. It was really funny. Note to self: keep an eye on the blocks when telling that story.
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Thursday, August 14, 2003
Well, this is fascinating-slash-depressing: Hollywood is Calling. Get that guy from that show to call and wish your friend a happy birthday. Or go all-out:
HOLLYWOOD ROMANCE SPECIAL - $29.95
Have a celebrity call someone you care about and tell them how much you love them with a message that's been custom written by you. The actual celebrity you choose below will call and deliver a live and personalized message within 7 days of your order placement. Whether you'd like to buy someone a really unique and memorable gift or you're a fan who'd like to have a personalized audio souvenir from a real celebrity, this is the gift for you.
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Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Real Live Preacher continues to kick serious booty:
When life seems chaotic, you don't need people giving you easy answers or cheap promises. There might not be any answers to your problems. What you need is a safe place where you can bounce with people who have taken some bad hops of their own.
Tracy has a shocking experience with her DSL. I'm rather surprised I've never done that.
There are some less-than-helpful gardening tips in the What's New section at They're Coming to Get You, Barbara.
Dennis writes about Bad hair, good mood.
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I'm taking care of a really sweet dog for the next week and a half. She's so nice! She slept next to my bed all night and snored in a really cute doggy way.
I had to give her three pills this morning. She was good about it, but the look in her eyes said that she really was just humoring me because I was so inept. I wrapped the smallest one in cheese, so I think I got bonus dog points for that.
The best thing about her is that she knows how to get up on the garage roof, via stairs at the back of the house. So, when I pull into the driveway, sometimes there is a barking dog on the roof warning me to stay away. 'Cause she's so fierce. Grrr!
<edit> A parishoner just brought in her adorable new dog, fresh from the groomer. He's a Bichon Frise/Cairn Terrier mix. He could not be any cuter, especially with his spiffy new short haircut and fluffy tail. Such a sweetie, all 18 lbs. of him.
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Most holy God, the source of all good desires, all right judgments, and all just works: Give to us, your servants, that peace which the world cannot give, so that our minds may be fixed on the doing of your will, and that we, being delivered from the fear of all enemies, may live in peace and quietness; through the mercies of Christ Jesus our Savior. Amen.
[Sara paraphrase: please help me stop the little mental hamster on his little mental wheel]
I met with a new spiritual director yesterday, and now I'm totally confused again. Surprise. I'm now thinking about maybe not starting classes in the Spring, and just focusing on Godly Play, and my new evening prayer service, running my small group for a couple of months, and maybe doing a couple of other things.
I realized over the weekend that fitting in even one class that meets twice a week in Berkeley would have a huge impact on my schedule, and really limit the things I can do @ St. Ned's, especially if I had to get a side job to pay for it, which looks fairly likely after doing some number crunching.
I've been looking through my diocese's ordination handbook, and at some of the PCOM (parish commission on ministry, the group that decides who gets sent to the bishop for consideration) questions, and realizing that I can't answer many of them right now. The ones about what my specific ministry looks like are the most troublesome, and I don't think that pulling myself out of my parish to go to school is going to help that.
I also think that just mentally pulling myself off ordination track for like six months could be useful. I can do that - just jump in and enjoy the ministry for it's own sake, and its not going to affect anything one way or the other. I am just tired. Really fucking tired and fried.
Y'know, I really wouldn't mind a nice, unambiguous burning bush right 'bout now.
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Monday, August 11, 2003
You know what I fight with? Giant killer atomic monkeys.
That, and the need to know Exactly What Is Going To Happen Next. I seem to constantly vacillate between having faith that, yup, everything is going to happen according to God's will and I can just take my hands of the controls....and the polar opposite, where I want the entire world to sign legally binding papers promising not to surprise or disappoint me in any way.
Sigh. There is entirely too much ambiguity in my life right now and I'm handling it with zero grace. Zero.
I have done nothing on my CDSP application. I'm stalled. Ok, last week maybe wasn't the best week to work on it, as it turned out. Too much national church drama, too many renditions of Pharaoh Pharaoh in my head. I'm just having a hard time getting back into the right mental space to do it.
Nothing feels very solid right now.
God, by whom the meek are guided in judgment, and light rises up in darkness for the godly: Grant us, in all our doubts and uncertainties, the grace to ask what you would have us to do, that the Spirit of wisdom may save us from all false choices, and that in your light we may see light, and in your straight path may not stumble; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
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Oh, and I bought the little silver cross stud earrings from Kiss My Ring on Saturday. I'm wearing them right now and I love them. They're so handmade.
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St. Ned's has a lot of church clip art, and sometimes it's funnier than it should be. I don't just mean the Jesus as Phish Fan drawings, we've all seen Dude Jesus; I like the ones that are just wrong. For example:
Come experience our new mind-control cross! Yes, we use the power of :::Radar::: to keep your kids in the pews. You'll be amazed by their fine, upstanding behavior as soon as we turn the power switch of the new mind-control cross!
Alternately, it could be some sort of emergency preparedness illustration. When you hear the cross siren, duck!
Really really depressing child care available. This kid looks like she's doing time in cellblock crayola. Where is my mommy? When is she coming back? How long can this vestry meeting be, anyway?
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Friday, August 08, 2003
Found via the Jesus Museum, which has some amusing links and a teeeeny little chip on its shoulder about the church:
Bible-as-Fashion-Magazine
In focus groups, online polling, and one-on-one discussion, Extreme for Jesus has found that the number one reason teens don't read the Bible is that it is "too big and freaky looking." This fashion-magazine format for the New Testament is the perfect solution to that problem. Teen girls feel comfortable exploring the Scriptures and over 500 further-study notes because of the relevant format!
Blabs (Q & A)
12 month-long calendars
Love Notes from God
Issue articles
Basics of Christianity Articles
Quizzes
Beauty Secrets
Guys Speak Out!
Relationship articles
Truth or Dares
Devotional Reading Plans
and more . . .
I am strangely fascinated. Don't miss the video clip. I do know that the surly, unchurched teenager I was would have tossed this thing across the room and been insulted about being marketed down to. Maybe this is for kids who are already in youth groups.
Reminds me of the time we were driving through the south in the 70s and there was a comic book rack at a restaurant and my parents bought me some Archie comics and they turned out to be Archie Gets Saved comics. Does anyone know anything about these comics? I'm off to Google.
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And, if Wednesday was Sarah's birthday, then today is the 5th anniversary of the day her mom married my brother! Best thing that ever happened to him. :-)
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This week has been exhausting. In addition to the national church drama, we've had Vacation Bible Camp every morning. 46 kids! It was really great. The theme was 'Heroes of the Bible' and every day the kids made a different piece of hero-gear during craft time. One day was shields made out of foil pizza pans, one day was crowns, one day was capes, one day was armbands. Yesterday I took pictures of the whole group in their hero outfits, and we printed them all out on the inkjet and the kids made frames for them today. Because, if you don't bring home something made from popsicle sticks, it isn't really Vacation Bible Camp, now, is it?
I thought Heroes was a great theme considering how many boys we have here (seriously, the Y chromosome is alive and well at St. Ned's) and it seemed to engage the kids. I wasn't really participating since I still needed to be at my desk, but I could hear them whooping it up in the room next door. I got song-bombed by their song Pharaoh Pharaoh, which is sung to the tune of Louie Louie. Had that stupid song in my head every day well into the afternoon.
Anyway. It's almost the weekend and there is much rejoicing. I thought I had to go to Ikea tomorrow to help get a dozen bookcases for Godly Play, but I don't have to. Yay! Not having to go to Ikea on a Saturday feels like a gift right there. I'm still going over to the East Bay, though...there's a sample sale at a pajama company and they're selling extra fabric, so I want to go and get some cheap jammies and maybe some fun fabric for, um, whatever. It's fabric! Do I need a reason?
Then I'm meeting up with Jon and Ryan and Dennis in the evening and the four of us are going to a fabulous restaurant in Rockridge to enjoy a yummy dinner. I am hugely looking forward to this.
I also get to return to my own place this weekend after two weeks of house-and-kitty-sitting for someone from St. Ned's. It's been really nice, and the kitty is very sweet and has become my buddy, but it will be good to be back in my own room. For a few days, anyway, since I start another housesitting gig on Tuesday. Housesitting rocks. I get a dog with this one, yay!
Sunday I'll be in church, doing the same thing we do every week. (Try to take over the world! Oh, wait, that's Pinky and the Brain. Different.)
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Wednesday, August 06, 2003
Be present, O merciful God, and protect us through the hours of this night, so that we who are wearied by the changes and chances of this life may rest in your eternal changelessness; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
[from compline...I am off to bed!]
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Today is the 13th birthday of my niece, Sarah. Whoo hoo! Happy birthday, Sarah!
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So, here's what I'm feeling the day after the election of the Rev. V. Gene Robinson to the episcopacy was approved. In no particular order, and sometimes all at once:
- Happy for the people of the Diocese of New Hampshire who get to keep the guy they chose to be their bishop. They said, "This is him! This is the guy! We have, after a long, prayerful process, picked him to lead us!" and the General Convention affirmed their choice. I'm glad they were heard.
- Sad because I know a lot of people feel that the church has betrayed them. I don't like to see their pain.
- Concerned for the Big Church. I hope we won't schism, that we'll all stay in communion.
- Concerned for the little church. If people want to leave St. Ned's and find another denomination, that is their choice, but I hope they will stay and grieve with the support of their community.
- Annoyed that this played out in the national media and made us into That Gay Bishop Church. I do think the Rev. Robinson did a fine job of handling the media, and managed to make the message not All About Him but all about God's love. It's just irritating that having sexuality issues discussed in the church is like throwing chum in the shark tank. There are real people involved here, and real lives, and real communities of faith.
- Confused in general. Sexuality is a big complicated mess under the best of circumstances, and here it is banging up against us and demanding that we pay attention and have answers and be able to support them through Biblical Whack-A-Mole. Guess what? I don't have the answers. I know what my heart tells me, and I want to believe that I'm aligned with God's will, but maybe I'm wrong. I also think we have much bigger fish to be fryin' and I am willing to let this slide to the bottom of my Stuff To Ponder list.
This is still too new, too raw, and too polarizing for any real discussion. I noticed that there were people at Convention who wanted to have further dialogue about the issue of ordaining women. That's been happening since the late 70s, and people still want to talk about whether or not it was a good idea. So I don't expect that we'll have a sudden consensus on this issue, either.
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Tuesday, August 05, 2003
My new embroidery patterns just arrived. Whoo hoo! I got all four of the new ones, plus the kitty one and the mode-with-alphabet because I need an alphabet.
Now I just need to decide what to do first.
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I have started actual application procedures for CDSP. My favorite part of the online application is this:
Note when choosing a user name: Your user name will be part of your user id when your application is sent to an admissions office.
So I lost a good 15 minutes thinking of inappropriate user names.
I've requested my transcripts from Parsons, and now I'm working on my personal statement. So far, it's ARRRRRRGH!!!! What am I thinking???!!!?? but I'm planning to come up with something a bit more upbeat before I finalize the application.
Then I have to get people to write letters of recommendation, which is almost enough to make me just give up on this whole stupid idea. Here is the header of the recommendation letter request:
RECOMMENDER: Education at CDSP is geared primarily for Christian Ministry, both lay and ordained, in its great variety of forms. Please indicate in what context you know the applicant and give a realistic appraisal of the applicant, including both strengths and weaknesses as you see them. In the space below or on an additional page, please consider the following about the applicant:
1) imagination and openness to new ideas;
2) emotional maturity, stability and self-discipline;
3) potential for leadership;
4) ability to get along with others;
5) attitude toward authority.
I knew I shouldn't have been running around with scissors in my teeth, screaming Get Away From Me!!!!! at everyone who came into the office last week. I knew that would come back to bite me in the butt. Oh, wait, that didn't actually happen, that was just a fantasy sequence while I was working on the newsletter.
Sigh. I am seriously freaking myself out here.
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Saturday, August 02, 2003
Does anyone else remember this Public Service Announcement about prejudice, with the kid and his grandfather in the boat? It seems like it was on all the time during Brady Bunch reruns and other afternoon fare.
Kid: grandpa, yesterday Jimmy said I was prejudiced! What's that?
Grandpa: Prejudice is when you react to someone based on their religion, or their color
Kid: But I don't do that!
Grandpa: Who's Jimmy?
Kid: Jimmy's one of my Jewish friends!
Grandpa: Then you are prejudiced, because you think of Jimmy as your Jewish friend, and not as your *friend*
Please tell me I'm not making this up - I can't seem to google anything on it. So now I'm wondering if I ate some bad Life cereal in the 70s and hallucinated the whole thing.
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